


Love of a Traveling Soldier

by Nakeycatstakebaths



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clarke and Bellamy met in the military, F/M, Madi is their biological daughter, Military, Military Families, Navy SEAL Bellamy, Traveling Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:54:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23075845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakeycatstakebaths/pseuds/Nakeycatstakebaths
Summary: A modern take on Clarke's Post-Praimfaya radio calls.425 days without a sign, no phone calls, no emails, as far as Clarke knows, Bellamy left on this classified mission and is never coming back. But she can't think that, can't live with that, not when she has Madi to consider.So she hopes, waits, lives on. Makes a phone call every night, always reaching his voicemail and always leaving a message.Maybe one of these days, he'll finally be able to answer, will finally come home to them.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 29
Kudos: 272





	Love of a Traveling Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Traveling Soldier by the Dixie Chicks

“Momma, how many sleeps till daddy gets home?” Madi asked, wide dark eyes half-lidded, the worn ear of a stuffed bear tucked in her mouth. She was on the edge of sleep, probably only a few minutes away from a world of dreams. Clarke’s heart broke at those words, another piece shedding itself and flying off into the wind. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Only a few more baby girl,” she whispered, smoothing back her daughter’s wild, dark curls, identical to the ones on Bellamy’s head and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. Madi deserved dreams full of sunshine and rainbows and hugs from her dad, not a giant ticking clock marking if she would ever get to see him again.

The weight of sleep proved to be too strong, too comfortable, and Madi drifted off, curling her little body into a small ball before she could ask further, delve into the specifics of when she would get to have her bedtime hugs again.

Bellamy and Clarke had fantasized about these moments, sitting in a dugout during cold desert nights. The Navy had seemed different to them back then, they were young, had no responsibilities at home, just a passion for justice and the kind of fearlessness you needed to run into a sleeper cell of terrorists.

She had never planned on marrying a fellow soldier, of living a life waiting for the other to come home. But Bellamy had been rugged and gentle, a hero, the man of her dreams. They fell hard and fast, stole moments together during those dark desert nights. They’d laid out, looked up at the stars, talked about their future, dreamed up a house full of kids and fantasized about doing boring things like watching TV together and doing dishes.

And for a while, they had that. There was no war, they just lived, got married, had the most beautiful little girl in the entire world and got to have their boring fantasy.

But things never stayed simple for long.

 _“Hey, it’s Bellamy, leave a message,”_ her husband’s familiar voice instructed, the same soft, gravelly voice she had heard a million times before.

“It’s been 125 days since you got deployed, I don’t really know why I do this. It’s not like you have cell phone service wherever you are right now…I guess it would defeat the purpose of a classified mission if you did. I like hearing your voice though, like the idea that maybe you’ll hear these someday. It just makes me miss you less—”

A beep sounded, indicating that she had gone over the length limit for the message. This always happened, it shouldn’t really surprise her. Part of her wanted to call again, just to hear the sound of his voice message, but she didn’t want to risk filling the mailbox, couldn’t let go of this nightly tradition just yet.

***

“Only a few more sleeps baby,” Clarke whispered against Madi’s hair, pulling her closer into her side as her breathing evened out. She was so tiny, it was easy to forget sometimes, especially since it felt like she had aged years since Bellamy’s departure.

In a way, Clarke was glad that Madi always asked about her dad, even though the question never failed to break her heart. With the uncertainty of this mission and the no contact rules, she was worried Madi would lose the bond she had with him, forget all the nights spent making pillow forts and making smores.

For now, this countdown was all she had.

Picking up her phone, Clarke dialed the familiar number, taking the time to type it out by hand rather than using the contact information. This was all she had these days, she was going to drag it out for as long as possible.

She closed her eyes at the sound of her husband’s voice, pretending for a moment that he was lying beside them. The bed felt too big without him, too wide, too cold. If he was here, he would wrap them both under his arm, pulling her to his chest, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her ear.

_“Hey, it’s Bellamy, leave a message.”_

“It’s been 142 days, today was a good one. We went to the aquarium and I told Madi all about our first real date. She’s so smart Bell, so big, you’re going to be so proud when you see her. I miss you, we both do, please take care of yourself.”

The beep sounded just as she finished, like a harsh, clinical reminder that her husband wasn’t actually on the other end.

Keeping her phone pressed to her chest, she leaned her cheek against Madi’s head, trying to ignore the cold space beside her, the ache of where a warm hand should be resting on her waist.

***

Today was…harder than most.

Her head throbbed, back ached, Madi puked all over the upstairs carpet, leaving pieces of breakfast and orange juice to seep into the floor. She was sore and tired and so, so lonely. All she wanted was to fall into Bellamy’s arms, to smell the spicy scent of his cologne, hear him tell her that they had lived to see another day, that the world would keep turning.

That was what he always said, believed it so strongly that he had the words tattooed into his skin, in Greek, because it was Bellamy after all.

God, she missed him so much.

_BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ_

Her phone rang against the coffee table, causing her to jump, sending a wave of bile into her throat. It was a visceral reaction, an involuntary fear reflex, you never knew which call would be, the call.

The panic rose higher when she realized it was an unknown number.

With a deep breath, she pressed the green button, preparing herself for a line of words that could change her life forever.

 _“Clarke Griffin-Blake, I am calling to inform you that your husband’s mission is still on-going and at this time, they have suffered no fatalities,”_ a deep male voice said, professional and to the point, typical.

Thank God.

They had, in fact, lived to see another day.

It still felt weird to not have them call her by her rank, the sting of it radiating all the way down to that damn plate in her spine. The plate that had retired her at 28 years old, as much as she hated it, it was the only reason her daughter had a parent home with her at all, truly a blessing and a curse. But she thanked the man on the other end of the phone, taking extra care to be kind to him even though he had scared the shit out of her, it wasn’t an easy job to make these calls.

She was one of the lucky ones today, she knew that never lost sight of that.

Despite the comforting news, the phone call shook her up, had sent a wave of adrenaline through her body she just couldn’t shake. Even while she was scrubbing vomit out of the carpet and pressing a cool rag to her daughter’s forehead, she could still hear the phone vibrating against the table.

Madi fell asleep without her story, body drained from being sick, the countdown to her father’s return too distant of a thought to cloud her mind right now.

_“Hey, it’s Bellamy. Leave a message.”_

“I love you…” she whispered into her phone, waiting for the beep, relishing in the small comfort that even though Bellamy couldn’t hear her, he was okay. Too grateful for his survival to burden him with her terrible day, even if it was just for a few seconds, even if he couldn’t hear her.

She fell asleep on the floor of their closet, her back pressed up against the wall, the smell of Bellamy’s old dress shirts lulling her to sleep.

***

Clarke lifted Madi’s sleeping form from Octavia’s couch, running a hand over the ridges of her spine, rocking her back to sleep. It was nice to see her happy, laughing, jumping, playing with her cousins. The sight of it made something in Clarke ache. They wanted a big family, lots of siblings for Madi, enough kids for their own softball team.

She hated this mission.

As much as she knew it for the greater good, knew that her husband was going to save hundreds, if not thousands of lives, he wasn’t here.

They were supposed to have been done, taken their medals of honor and ridden off into the sunset. Bellamy had had only a few more months left on his enlistment when he got the call, the call that sent him off to an unknown place, shipped him off with barely a few days for them to say goodbye.

It could’ve been her, should’ve been her.

It just as easily could’ve been Bellamy here, with their daughter, making memories and going to school plays.

If it weren’t for the three metal disks, square in the middle of her back, sitting up against the curve of her skin, a constant reminder that she would never be a soldier again…not in the way she wanted to anyway.

She drove aimlessly, watching the lights flicker off in different windows, symbols of life in every home. Maybe there were others in there, other people waiting for their loved ones to come back. From a party, from soccer practice, a business trip, people were waiting who would never get the relief of hearing the door click open and others who would take the click for granted.

Clarke sent out a silent prayer for them all, all the waiters, the worriers. She had never been very good at waiting, too restless…this was a new emotion, one that she didn’t like. There was no way to truly squash the worry, no door click.

They ended up at the beach, the waves a soothing comfort to the chaos in her brain. This was their place, she had a picture of them together here on her desk at work, the day they had gotten engaged.

“It’s been 200 days since I last saw you, 200 days since we heard your voice. I don’t like to tell you when I have bad days, even if you can’t hear me, this time is so precious. But today sucked. It is terrible that I miss the act—”

The message cut off, rattling on about how she could delete her message if she wanted to, but she hung up before it could finish, throwing her phone down in the sand, leaning heavily against the hood of her car.

“I miss the action. I’m stuck here, there’s nothing I can do, no way I can help. I just have to wait, to wonder, to hope you make it out of this alive. I’m mad at you for leaving even though it’s not your fault and I’m mad at my stupid spine for making it so that I couldn’t go instead. She’s growing up Bell and you’re missing it. She has a loose tooth and is learning all these amazing words, she’s a caterpillar in her school play. I want you to come home so badly, want you to see all this, to give her the siblings she deserves. I’m just so…frustrated and angry…I—” she finally broke down, letting herself really cry for the first time since Bellamy left. The phone didn’t make a difference, he could never hear her anyway, but yelling out into the universe just felt less intimate.

She loved her country, respected the sacrifice of service, knew what an honor it was to be married to someone so brave, but right now all she could think about was how badly this hurt, how real the possibility was that she would never get to see him again.

***

“Mommy, I know you said there were a lot of sleeps until daddy got home, but how many sleeps is a lot?” Madi asked, reaching out to hold the small frame by her bedside, the picture of her and Bellamy at her daddy-daughter dance.

The weight of the question sat heavily on Clarke’s shoulders, not knowing how to answer the question without lying to her. Madi was so young, so innocent, she didn’t need to carry this burden, not yet.

“Baby…I don’t know. But I do know that he misses you and thinks about you every second of every day.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re the little dipper and daddy is the big dipper, remember?”

“We’re always in the sky together,” Madi finished, holding the frame to her chest.

“That’s right, you’re always together, even when you’re apart,” Clarke assured, climbing into Madi’s little bed with her and holding her close to her chest.

It took Madi longer than usual to fall asleep, her body restless, still holding the small plastic frame even though the sharp edges were digging into her side.

_“Hey, it’s Bellamy. Leave a message.”_

“It’s been 300 days, almost a whole year since we’ve seen your smile. Wherever you are, I hope you’re looking up at the stars, the same stars that we’re looking at here and you’re thinking about us, because we’re thinking about you. Love you to the stars and back Bellamy,” she whispered into her phone, hanging up the call before the beep this time.

***

“We’re eating pancakes for dinner?” Madi squealed, running a lap around the kitchen, a handful of blueberries stuffed in her mouth.

“We sure are…It’s the Fourth of July,” Clarke grinned, shaking the can of Reddi Whip and spraying it generously on the stack of pancakes, lifting the noddle just a little to squirt a bit of cream on her daughter’s shirt.

Madi yelped, eyes wide in shock as she took in the cream before she scooped it back up and came running at Clarke in full force, smacking the entire handful against the thigh of her jeans.

“Oh, you’re going to pay for that kiddo,” she teased, grabbing the can and chasing Madi through the kitchen.

They made a mess, but it was the most fun Clarke had in months. For the first time in a long time, there was a sense of normalcy in their house, the walls full of life and laughter, the empty space just a little fuller.

Today was the Fourth of July, a reminder of the reason why they were fighting, the marking of their freedom.

Clarke clinked her beer with Madi’s can of soda, a rare treat for them both, paired with full bowls of ice cream. The thick, hot summer hair left a sticky film on their skin, completely consuming them while they sat on the back steps, as close together as the heat would allow.

The sky filled with crackling sparks of color: red, white and blue plumes exploding through the inky night air. The grass was cool against her toes and she flexed them, enjoying the soft press of the earth, a visceral kind of joy.

She didn’t call Bellamy that night, just sent her nightly message into the universe, staring up at the stars, lying in a sleeping bag beside her daughter. It had been 400 days and she hadn’t received another call. To say it was disheartening was an understatement, but she couldn’t lose hope, couldn’t let herself believe that Bellamy wasn’t out there, sharing the sky with them.

In truth, this felt like the most authentic way to connect with him, he loved the stars, knew all the constellations. This had been the way they dated, backs on the red dessert dirt, looking for Capricornus, Lyra, the north star.

The fireworks continued throughout the night, it was oddly comforting when a burst would cut through the crickets and the cool wind, a mixture of red, white and blue mixing with the night sky.

***

Clarke flopped onto the couch, Madi had been restless tonight, needing multiple glasses of water, stories, a snack. It felt like she was stalling, like she had desperately wanted to stay awake for some reason.

It had been quite the fight, but sleep had won in the end…at least for now.

She spun her phone between her fingers, crossing her legs underneath her body as she contemplated whether or not to call. One of these days, his voicemail box was going to fill up and then she would really lose this last connection, the only thread that made her hope that they would get to see each other again.

The calls had grown more spaced out, she was alternating between just talking out into the universe and leaving blurbs for him in these messages. She wasn’t sure which one helped more, but they were both a comfort in a way, even though he never talked back, it made her feel like he was beside her.

She pressed each number slowly, clicking the phone to speaker while she sagged back against the cushions, letting her body fully relax.

_“Clarke?”_

She jumped, almost falling off the couch in her haste to pick up her phone. Was that? It couldn’t be. Maybe she was finally losing her mind.

_“Clarke?”_

It was Bellamy’s voice. He was alive. Her eyes filled with tears, voice barely a choked whisper when she finally gathered herself enough to answer.

“It’s actually you,” she said, tears running down her cheeks.

“It’s me, I just got debriefed. I was going to surprise you,” he laughed, voice broken, cracked with emotion.

“This is so much better trust me.”

***

He crumpled in her arms in the doorway, both of them falling to the ground with the force of their reunion. This was it, they were not just in the same country, but in the same house, the same room, in each other’s arms.

She kissed him, relishing in the feeling of his lips against hers, of his arms around her back, the woodsy scent of his skin that was distinctly Bellamy.

He had a cut above his eye, still a little raw, a little dirty but he was alive, living, breathing, kissing her.

“I love you so much, thought about you and Madi every single day when I was in that bunker, you two are what kept me going,” he murmured against her lips, fingers digging into her sides like he was trying to bury under her skin, pull her as close as possible.

“I love you,” she replied, barely able to get the words out with the force of her emotions. This was it, Bellamy was here for good. His last tour, their last separation. He had always been a hero, but he was just their hero now.

***

“Baby…” Clarke whispered, rubbing her hand gently down Madi’s back. They hadn’t wanted to wake her last night, needed those hours to make up for lost time, to look up at the same stars and love each other.

“No more sleeps till we see each other again,” Bellamy said, kneeling down in front of his daughter to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. She was so big, suddenly no longer a baby. His hearted ached for the days he had spent without her, but the second her eyes flew open, all the pain melted away.

She screamed, face crumpling with tears as she lunged out of bed, wrapping her skinny arms around his neck as tightly as she could, burying her face into his neck.

He sagged into it, cradling her like a baby, his baby.

“I’m dreaming,” she murmured against his skin, voice heavy with tears.

“I’m here little dipper and I’m not going anywhere.”

He held his arm out, gesturing for Clarke to tuck herself against his side. The three of them together again, a family.

**Author's Note:**

> ...I didn't expect this to be so emotional...told you I couldn't stay away from kid fics for too long. 
> 
> I've never written a one-shot before but I hope you guys like it, this kind of came to me out of nowhere and took shape on it's own but I'm really really happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> Much love to y'all always! Thanks for reading :) if you’re interested in Moodboard, playlists and my other works you can find me on Tumblr @Nake-cats-take-bathsss


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